with love

Wake up in the morning as usual while my hand reaching for my phone under my pillow Oh, it still early 7.45am And there have one message in the inbox. Press the inbox button and read the message from one friend: “One fine day, all of us will get busy with our lives, long working hours, less friends, less meeting, rare calls, no sms, no more late night chatting, won’t have time for ourselves, at such a day you’ll look outside your window and see the good old memories flash you by and you’ll get a smile with a tear in your eyes and you’ll turn back to your work thinkin i wish i could go back...dis msg is to my dear friend who helped to create such memories!:)” All of sudden a white liquids drop from my eyes Sebak...sungguh sebak  I do miss all the memories we used to share together Setiap pelusuk ukm,putrajaya, alamanda, Ane fariz, bagan lalang, sg.gabai, bangi, kajang, kl, panggung wayang (ingat lagi tak, kita semua pernah reserved panggung wayang tu masa tahun baru cina, dialog cerita itu hanya sebut : Banjingan...hahah) dan tempat-tempat yang sekutu dengannya Ini hanya sebahagian, banyak lagi yang tidak termampu di sebutkan.... Kepada kawan-kawan yang di sayangi dan di kasihi Melalui blog ini saya ini mengucapkan ribuan terima kasih Kerana menjadi sebahagaian daripada hidup saya Sekiranya saya pernah melukai secara sengaja atau tidak...maafkan saya Sekiranya kehadiran saya pernah menyusahkan secara sengaja atau tidak...maafkan saya Apa yang saya tahu nilai PERSAHABATAN ini lebih berharga dari emas dan juga permata Wang dan juga ringgit p/s: i love u’ollss my dear friends. i should posted this post early but due to hectic week and convocation week.so i postponed until this date.

The law of NATURE...

the boat and Rejang river

One day

I saw, i heard

about the person

she dead, in front of my house

people are chaos, i can saw lori pertahanan awam in front of their house

people are assemble there

who is she?

I’m not even knowing her

But why i felt like someone saying goodbye

The last goodbye to me

And i remember Emily Dickinson poem

"There's been a Death, in the Opposite House,"

She dead when she is sleeping last night

Some said because of the dengue fever

 She leaves two children

No husband, they’re divorce long time ago

The only thing i know that

She is a mother

Could be a sister to someone

And a daughter

At least she is someone whom precious to the person that loved her

Flashback to the story long time a ago

Where  me and my family sank at Rejang river

When our ‘speedboat’collapse between the ferry and express

When this happen, at that time i’m just 9 years old (Primary three)

What i can remember from this tragedic memory is that

I’m wet, and tali perahu mengheret me to the deeper level

While my dad trying to save me

Luckily dady succeed to cut the tali and saving me

While mumy and my siblings bergayut above the tank

It was Gawai season

And people are drunk and karaoke-ing

Not far from the place that we sank

There a longhouse, it’s called Rumah Ngiring (if i’m not mistaken)

Someone from that house was heard somebody yelling for “help!”

And that sound came from my mom and dad

Who struggle and hoping for someone could heard and help us

Five minutes later, luckily there was a few sampan and people from  the longhouse i mentioned above come and save us

If not because of them from that longhouse saving us

I and my family maybe not alive until this day

Maybe ours destiny not ended there yet

And we still have purposes in this journey of life

What are the related story above to the person that who just dead

What suprise me is that, she also come from that longhouse

Maybe the time i was kid and sank at that river

She and her relatives might be the person that help me and my family

And then i realize she could be the person whom saving my family and i

And i do believe that in this world we’re bound by seven person that might be related to us

And i still remember the theater we had produce when i was in my 2nd years at University

‘6 degree of separations’ is one of the theory which mentioned

We could be related to 7 peoples in this world

And yes, that was so true!

And happen in my life

When mom said to help at least giving her family some money to support the procedure

To bring her back to the longhouse

Even it small at least we could help them

And i pray May the Lord blessed her soul

And R.I.P.

That day, before she depart..it suddenly raining

Somehow showing that she is crying to leave the earth

The house, her sons and her friend there...

I saw the lorry bring her inside

And her coffin

Until it lost from my sight...

On that day, i can’t felt like the earth saying the last goodbye...

And until next time the day we’ll meet again...

terluka..melukai...dan dilukai

Pernahkah anda terluka?
Melukai orang ? atau dilukai
Dalam tiga kategori itu..[di lukai] paling sakit
Sakit.dan.sangat sakit.
Saat aku memijak gelas kaca itu sehingga terputus dua
Darah mengalir laju seperti aliran sungai Batang Rajang
K.e.s.a.k.i.t.a.n tidak terasa bila sudah memang sedia sakit
Hanya terasa kebas sahaja
Bila darah berharga keluar walau setitik dua
Namun kerana betapa penting darah dalam badan
Aku rasa dunia gelap seketika
Tatkala memerhatikan darah di kaki ku menitis satu persatu
Duduk, aku ingin duduk
Kakak mengambilkan kerusi
Sambil membalut luka tadi dengan balutan
Kecoh di sekeliling tidak ku dengari kerana dunia hitam seketika.

kek hari bapa: Happy Father's Day daddy

 Petang itu, sekembali membeli kek Hari Bapa dan wain
Ingatkan nak buat suprise untuk Dady
Tapi inilah yang tersurat bila yang dirancang tidak menjadi yang sepatutnya
Kan Tuhan Maha mengetahui segalanya
Sesudah mengeluarkan gelas dari almari, aku terlupa
Bagaimana boleh terlupa aku tadi meletakkan di situ
Balik-balik ke situ
“chshshhs” bunyi gelas kaca terbelah dua di pijak oleh kaki ku yang mulus
Saat itu
Saat itu rasa sakit kali pertama kaca tercucuk kedalam kaki kanan ku...
Ah, pedih...perit..kacau bilau...bising rumahku....
Dengan kadar segera, setelah kaki ku di balut
Mumy kata pergi ER.
Aku rasa aku tidak dapat jalan, nasib baik aku kecik
Adikku terpaksa mengangkatku untuk turun dari tangga ke kereta dalam kadar seberapa segera

Dalam kereta, aku tidak rasa pening atau mual seperti ketika mula-mula tadi
Malah aku sempat berkata “macam-macam”
Sempat ketawa
Rasa dah tidak sakit lagi tatkala melihat wajah ibu yang risau tahap gaban
Mengelarkan diri si capik “mak aku nyadi si capik....heeheee”-nakal kan

Sesampai di ER, Sibu sarawak
Ok, sakit hati ada, geli hati pun ada
Pernahkah anda merasa “handicap”
Duduk di kerusi roda while every eyes is watching at you and curious to know
“what happen??”
I feel ashamed and pity when they start looking towards me like i’m a murderer or i did something very bad/cruel
Sakit hati sebab-saya tunggu lama walaupun mereka lihat yang kaki saya berbalut dan berdarah
Mereka peduli apa bukan besar pun lukanya
Tapi sakit tau tak!! Apalah guna nama Emergency Room (ER) bila pesakit tidak di layan dalam kadar seberapa pantas
I’m not blaming anybody, adakah simbol a/k memang bermaksud “anda kemudian”
If you in my shoes, i can guarantee you feel the same
Ok, saya nak mengata kakitangan kerajaan memberikan layanan kureng (sori sebab saya rasa marah)
Lama baru la my turn
Itupun luka saya dah tak nak berdarah lagi tau tak!!!

inilah keadaan luka pada hari pertama:jangan tengok kalau geli

Mula-mula dia bagi injektion-inilah paling saya tak suka-suntik2...sakitlah
Masa dressa/pembantu perubatan tu bagi iodin...
Dah la sakit tu memang ada, di tambah garam lagi (anda dapat bayangkan bagaimana rasanya)-Quote: connie remong-
Saya sempat menjerit “mumy!!”
Lepas tu doktor sampai
Dia tanya “are you Fu-chow”-dr. tu speaking kat aku
“nope”-aku balas
He ask again “u want to cut or sew it” if sew it, your skin become not beautiful. Ada parut.better just cut it off, i’m sure new skin will replace the die skin”
Without thinking i reply ok no problem just cut it...masa dia potong aduh (sempat saya nasihatkan “cut it carefully)..rasa jantung gugur ke bumi (hyperbole..la sangat)
Saya jerit lagi mumy tau tak!!
Dressa tu kata, “dah ndai nyak mumy2 gik, dah ambis..manja mai”-dalam hati “baru di nemu”
Then dia balut, ok, tunggu ambik ubat lagi
Sebab saya tak nak rasa kurang upaya duduk di kerusi beroda itu saya pun angkat
Sanggup saya berjalan sebelah kaki tanpa ada selipar
Sebab selipar saya yang sebelah lagi tinggal di kereta
Saya rela
Daripada duduk di kerusi itu
Saya tak sanggup!

Lama untuk luka sekecil itu untuk sembuh
Saya bernasib baik sebab kaca itu tidak memutuskan 3 urat di kaki saya
Doktor kata sikit lagi kena urat
Saya tak tahu berapa lagi sikit itu
Nasib baik malaikat melindungi
Jika tidak tentu lebih payah untuk sembuh
Namun saya tidak kata luka boleh sembuh begitu cepat
Pada hari kedua dan ketiga dan seterusnya kesakitan masih terasa
Ini luka yang kita nampak
Bagaimana dengan luka di hati yang kita tidak nampak??
“it’s keep keep bleeding, and bleeding”
Ini lagi payah untuk sembuh, sebab-ianya tidak di suntik, di beri iodin, tidak potong isi yang tidak berguna-malah kedalaman luka itu pun kita tak nampak
Bila ada luka kena hati-hati tidak boleh kena air-tidak boleh makan itu ini
Nanti kalau luka melarat bernanah itu lagi payah-payah untuk dirawat

sebelum bersalin kulit baru kenalah ada satu lapisan macam ini

3 minggu mungkin juga tidak cukup masa untuk sembuh pun
Malah makin mahu sembuh masih ada lapisan baru
Betul la hanya masa yang berkuasa untuk menyembuhkan
Tapi apakah sembuh sepenuhnya?
Atau masih bersisa parut yang tinggal
Aku merasakan mungkin begitulah juga luka yang di namakan “sakit hati”
Sakit yang kita tidak nampak adalah terbukti lebih teruk dari yang kita nampak dari mata kasar
Walau apa pun itu kan semua lumrah.
Tapi kes saya di atas adalah “malang tidak berbau”
Sebab malang kan selalu mandi, macam mana malang nak berbau..kan.logik juga

Syukurlah sekarang beransur pulih kembali

hampir sembuh sudah, harap2 tidak berparut

 
P/s: Jika anda pernah melukai orang, ingatlah seperti Rossa kata: “Hati yang kau lukai.”
Maaflah saya bukan bagi nasihat atau menghakimi sapa-sapa di sini, Cuma apa yang saya lalui semasa kaki saya tersusuk kaca.lalu saya kaitkan dengan sakit hati yang dilukai lebih kurang sama rasa macam kaki saya itu kot.kepada pembaca salam hormat dan sejahtera.

tips for career success

Get ahead, sell yourself. (Part 1)

Conventional wisdom dictates that if you work hard and show competence on the job, career success will inevitably come your way. But experts say you may have a long wait coming. Keeping your nose to the grindstone may not get you anything except, well, a raw snout. Nowadays, the best strategy for getting ahead is not to wait to be noticed but to deliberately call attention to yourself.
Achieving high visibility is not easy; there’s a very find line separating effective self-promotion and boastfulness. If you can come on too strong and give the impression of bragging, it could backfire. Tooting your own horn without sounding offensive is an art, so learn how to hit the right notes:

1. Assert and promote yourself

While you wish the higher-ups would reward their employees solely on merit, the real world doesn’t always work that way. Remember, “the squeaky wheel gets the oil”. Individuals who rewarded often boldly asks for it. If you don’t want to be caught in a freeze frame as everyone zooms by, practice to be assertive and self-advertise. Whenever possible, subtly make it known to your superiors about your progress, successful project or a great presentation. You may find this uncomfortable initially but remember, no one will know about your accomplishments if you don’t broadcast your accomplishments and take credit. Worse, somebody else may even take your credit away.

2. Take a bow

And while you’re at it, learn to accept the kudos that comes your way. Don’t brush them aside with self-deprecating expressions like “oh it was nothing,” or “I’m sure others could have done it just as well.” Your boss might agree with what you say them often enough.

3. Join forces with allies
Of course, you can always rise to the top of corporate ladder on your own. But wouldn’t your climb be swifter and easier with a helping hand or a gentle push? Seek a buddy or a mentor to look after you and support you, someone who will say “that’s a great idea!” when you present your proposal in the next brainstorming meeting. Of course, be sure to reciprocate in kind.


4. Build self confident

It’s difficult to put all your plans in motion if you suffer from low self-esteem. To bolster your self-image, you’ll have to catch negative thoughts that play in mind and replace them with positive statements. If your inner voice insists your opinions are worthless, your work unimportant or that nobody listens to you, muzzle it until it learns to stop saying “bad words.” Teach it to say, “I have something good to offer,” “My thoughts count,” and “I’m impotant.”

words and ways

Twelve ways to succeed:

1. Integrity

Integrity is knowing who you are no matter what life brings your way.

2. Perseverance

If we can bend with the strong winds of life, we will never break.

3. Leadership

Leaders see not only the destination but also the way to the goal.

4. Faith

Faith is knowing that something wonderful might be just around the corner.

5. Resilient

The resilience of the human spirit is proven in the difficulties one overcome.

6. Reputation

A good name, like good will, is attained by many actions but may be lost by one.

7. Belief

In matter of style, swim with the current; in matter of principle, stand like a rock.

8. Change

We learn to welcome change from the example of nature, which recreates itself for every season.

9. Positive

The only impossible journey is the one you never begin.

10.  Silence

You must speak to be heard but sometimes you have to be silent to be appreciated.

11. Determination

Some succeed because they are destined to, but most succeed because they are determined to.

12. Persistence

Persistence is the element of human nature that daily moves us closer to our dreams.

must watch The Back Up Plan

The Back-up Plan is a comedy that explores dating, love, marriage and family in reverse.

After years of dating, Zoe (Jennifer Lopez) has decided waiting for the right one is taking too long. Determined to become a mother, she commits to a plan, makes an appointment and decides to go it alone. That same day, Zoe meets Stan (Alex OLoughlin) a man with real possibilities.

Trying to nurture a budding relationship and hide the early signs of pregnancy becomes a comedy of errors for Zoe and creates confusing signals for Stan. When Zoe nervously reveals the reason for her unpredictable behavior, Stan commits fully and says hes in. Never before has love seen a courtship where a wild night of sex involves three in a bed Stan, Zoe and the ever-present massive pregnancy pillow. Or, where date night consists of being the focal point at a near-strangers water birth which does for kiddie pools what Jaws did for swimming in the ocean. The real pregnancy test comes when both of them realize they really dont know each other outside of hormonal chaos and birth preparations. With the nine month clock ticking, both begin to experience cold feet. Anyone can fall in love, get married and have a baby but doing it backwards in hyper-drive could be proof positive that they were made for each other.

later, if have time, wanna watch this movie.

selamat Hari Gawai Dayak 2010

selamat Hari Gawai Dayak 2010
aku bersampi Gayu Guru Gerai Nyamai
Bulih reta Bulih tengkira
Bulih nama bulih keresa
murah rezeki
(IBAN LANGGUAGE)

Hari Gawai adalah perayaan yang di smabut oleh masyarakat Iban secara khasnya, dan Dayak secara umumnya di Sarawak
Perayaan di sambut bagi mengucap syukur kerana padi telah masak
di samping masa untuk bertemu sanak saudara yang jauh
hanya di sambut setahun sekali
genap 1hb 6 setiap tahun
bagi yang tidak mengetahui perayaan ini
di harap anda akan tahu bahawa Malaysia mempunyai pelbagai kaum,agama dan kebudayaan
sebagaimana Hari Raya di sambut begitulah juga Hari gawai. (it is not the same, but more less the same)

tahun 2010 ini, merupakan tahun yang paling bertuah bagi saya
kerana pada tahun ini saya akan memakai topi idaman semua
topi apa? topi konvo la
di harap pada tahun ini rezeki berbuih seperti semangat padi

P/s:Dengan ini saya mengucapkan selamat Hari Gawai Dayak 2010 kepada yang menyambut.